Entertainment, Living Better, Psychology, Science

10 Things You Must Do To Become A Man

Reaching full growth potential for your species is easy. Truly being a man is something that only those who choose to do so can claim. Even if you’ve been blessed by a bar mitzvah; have gone through the traditional Sun Dance; or even lain with a woman/other consenting partner(s), you still may be a lad in short pants on the inside, where it counts. We’re here to help. We’ve gathered together men from around the world, and asked them what it was that makes a man. What it was that defined them. The answers they gave were okay, and so we kept the good ones. And here they are.

Respect Others


No man wishes to degrade anyone. He knows enough to know the trials of others are often harder than his own road. To be male is to be born into the patriarchy. To be a man is to renounce its time as over. Understanding is manly, and can only come by those who choose to look and learn empathy.

Know He’s Weak Alone


A man knows even if he battles with them, or resents their authority, or turns his back on the world, he’s never strongest by himself. Even a weak ally is a source of inspiration and strength for a man. He knows without others, he’d never have learned what he knows and be able to stand as he does. Some of them also owe him money, and a man needs to know how to deal with deadbeats.

Must Stop Trying To Impress Others


A man does what he does and then lets his accomplishments stand on their own. Anyone who needs to bark and crow is looking for approval. A man can be content with his limits and able to be one among many. He knows that time is swift and that moving well and thoughtfully will yield more impressive success than flash and splash. He also learns that no one who is impressed by a penis picture is anyone you want to know.

Must Dance In Public


A man must learn a little dancing at some point in his life to comprehend the utter misery it is. Any form of dancing is acceptable so long as you fully commit to it. Some men take ballet, some tap, some are drug into manhood by those who wish to dance with them. Others let loose with alcohol and abandon. Until you have shaken it, and shaken it in front of the gods’ flinty eyes, you still play with childish things.

Must Lose A Fight To An Older Man


It’s imperative to reach manhood by being bested by your older and better. It shows you that experience is still more valuable than all the bluster in the world, when it comes to blood and iron.

Must Experiment With Sexuality


Wherever you are on the Kinsey scale, you must experiment with your sexuality to some degree. Perhaps it’s a slow love that blossoms in the locker room. Maybe it’s hard and fast before you’re even sure what’s happening at a prom orgy. For some it’s young and tender, others older and deeper. But you must try it to be a man. You must know whether, when the curtain drops, you’ll be ready to shuck the shekel.

Must Honor a Bested Foe


On the field of contest, the field of battle, or a childish headbutting game gone wrong, a man must offer his hand in gratitude for a fight well fought, a game well played, a head, well butted.

Must Lose a Brother


A dear friend, a comrade, or the idiot in the bed below you, a man is only a man in grief that is different from all others. Yet known to all brothers.

Must Spend a Night In Lockup


Scientifically, you’re only able to reach full testosterone production after being booked and fingerprinted to spend an evening on the steel cots of justice. You can do it for stupid pranks, but it must be a long, difficult night where you look at yourself and the life you could be leading. Sleeping it off in the drunk tank counts as only 1/8 of a night, unless you’re largely sober and contrite when you are released to a shamefaced parent, friend, or significant other.

Must Jump Off Of Something Higher Than You Are Tall


Ziplining barely counts.

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